Prosecutor, Judge and the Victim

We have played all three parts countless times throughout our lives. 

Let me explain!

Let's say we do not like someone's idea, opinion or belief.

1. We start by taking on the role of a “Judge”, deciding that their idea has flaws because we believe ours is better.

2. Next, we switch to “lawyer” mode, lining up arguments to prove them wrong because we want to win.

3. And since the other person usually doesn’t agree, we end up feeling miserable, experiencing a range of negative emotions like anger, frustration, and disgust. We then start blaming them for our anguish. In other words, we play “Victim”.

Here’s how I think we can handle situations like this:

1. Embrace the mindset of "Strong Opinions, Weakly Held." Staying mentally flexible means being open to changing my perspective when new information comes along.

2. People don’t change just because you’re logical. The more forcefully you argue, the more the other party digs in their heels. Instead, it’s more effective to share information and encourage them to think for themselves.